A DEPRESSING STORY (PART 3)

Hi,we meet again although I did kinda curious for why would anyone read this. The title might said story but actually it is more towards a ranting of mine. And apparently, after a year and more I haven't wrote anything about this series??, I've come back. YEAY!!! not.... If anyone who actually read this, they would know the reason I only write under this title is to rant and rant and rant about "things" that happened to me.
I'm sure anyone have or had a time where they are not in the mood or under the weather. Not sure either those are the same things or not but back to the story. I'm sure you have one before right? right? or perhaps you're experiencing it right now? If so, it sucks...to you and people around you. Hopefully they understood and clear away from you. cause I'm sure I am, and I wish they were. Not sure which one.
Well, I see that you might have caught up right? YUP!! thousands of yup! I am or I had. Sorry if it the wrong use of grammar. I kind of forget and not forget it. In between, they said. Well, anyway, Yes, I am a bit of under the weather, not sure why just suddenly. At first it just a small one where I can still interact with people without feeling annoyed but I do kinda admit, when I'm like that, I always have internal thought about people around me, things around me, anything around me. And I became overly sensitive. I'm not that sensitive kind of person. I more like you do your thing, I do mine. And that when it began.
I have a friend, one that I could say my best friend. We sort of shared a lot of things together between us. Either gossip,story,what people said about us to us to each other ( More like people A told "beep about N" at me and I told my best friend about it.) Yeah, N is her name. We always do everything together you see. Whether going to college or hanging out. Always.
Enough about it. Back to the story, I kinda have a/some thought. Why does suddenly she seem close to Z? Where before we trading stories, now it was them. And they always seem so secretive about it. It makes me suspicious. I had to admit, I was jealous. because hey, aren't we best friend? sort of? unofficially? I know she has other friends but those are not here and so I don't thing much or none of them. But this is different. It felt like she(Z) stole her from me. It's not that I don't have other friends, I do but N is the most friendlier with me.
In addition, we live in a hostel provided by the college. Me and N in a same place and Z and 3 others are in another. But it really close between those two places so we always visit each other. It's not like I hate Z. No I'm not. I just, you knows...
Anyway, this that grates on my nerves are Z always calls for N for something or other. Not only on the phone but at hostel too...It's always "N!", "N!". URGHHH!!!! Can't for once you call for someone else? preferably those at your place? Not mine?
I realize it sound stupid but at the time? It bloody annoying and irritating. And they always like so buddy buddy at college. 'where you go, I go'. They seems like it. And too think it use to be us?ARGGGHHH!!!
So, it happened last week. N ask me if something wrong and I said nothing because hello??? are you blind or what? I'm not in the mood. So, shoo. Don't disturb me. And it was her fault too really. Well, not her alone actually,my other friends are too. A day before, we're supposed to go get something, and when I ask whether we should go down or not, they including her ignored, IGNORED me. Like I'm invincible. And when I fed up and decide d to not going, they go. They did ask me but I decline because I'm was angry at them...very very cause they said they want to get it tomorrow and suddenly BAM they're going like WHATTT???
Then, they had the gall to go to class without me. And I was honestly don't remember. I thought they just going out to eat or something but class? At least can't you message me told me about it or something? Especially, N. Before, you always did remind me but why? Why wouldn't you did then? I really don't understand.
And to sooth my aching heart, I goes home on the weekend. I had to admit I no longer sulking at them...YES!! I did. Sulking at them and act coldly. Or else I'm just not in the mood only that one day, not two...
When I came back, I thought everything will be normal but how naive am I? I was wrong. I don't mind about others cause I not to close to them but N? I was so so so sad and hurt. She didn't even greet me when I came back. I always did when she did. Or before when I came back. But that day? None. She did not said one word at me. Only when I open my mouth did she did. But then, silence...Like so so so awkward...I miss it. Our before...Now, I felt lonely... She might not cause everyyyoneee like her...Miss Popular but hey, what about me?
And she did not even tell me when she goes to college when before she does. Or wait for me when she did before. Or wake me up  to go to college together when we did before. I can even count how many times we speak now. And she did not even tell me any important news that our lecturers may have passed. It was my other friend, A who did. At least she act normal...And F too(well, she was a bit awkward and only when I address her first). And Z and D, hmm...not really close with them but at least before when they came to college and get inside the studio, they would greet me along with others but now...NOW???they ignored me, like I didn't exist. Just A and even then it was a bit stiff on her part but hey, I don't mind....It was the others especially N....When I thought we were best friend...or at least on that category....
HAHHH.....I'm so tired and confuse and etc...Why?Just Why?
I'm sorry...I know that was a silly problem but it plague me.... and I felt so...so alone...so lonely...
Only my fanfic accompanies me.
I knows that I was an unsocial person but even I did crave some companion and conversation sometimes....

Camp near Asahan,Gunung Ledang,Malacca-Johor.

Pictures of Gunung Ledang from the camp.......

It was rainy the night before,I guess......can't remember it very well but all the mountains were hidden under a thick piece of mist........

A picture of my group while we were cooking breakfast of the last day at the camp......

I want to take more picture but I was too absorbed in the activities and make me forgot all about it......

Sadly but true....And all of the activities required strength and it all was tiring too.....

Also,it was rainy for a while at there...even when we were doing our activities....

It really fun....however,we have to accept the pain at our sore muscles for a few days......

It okay.....that was,after all the price of having fun joining camp.....

A DEPRESSING STORY (PART 2)

Hello,we meet again or something like that I guess.The reason I’m writing now well obviously because something happen to me.Now,to begin the story......let see when did it happen.....hmmm,it happen during my last weekend.That time I gone out with my friends for an assignment.Yes!!!that’s correct!They are my classmates.And.....they have did something that pissed me out of!totally......

 The moment begin with this so called girl...A was her name.She know that we all have to gone out that day for assignment,gone out early in the morning till night,okay.....we all agreed about that.She know yet she still dare sleep very late the night before doing nothing......she said she sleep at 4 or 5 in the morning,I can’t remember the exact time but that’s not the problem.She know and well,our assignment require us to walk a lot.....and it’s tiring but well,it quite fun.Nope....very fun.Okay,it happen on the afternoon around 1 to 2 pm.She said she was sleepy.....of course,who told her to sleep so late duh.....what a stupid girl!!She couldn’t even think about such thing.If she doesn’t want to be sleepy...don’t sleep late especially when you have to go do something the day after.And....that pissing me of......I’m tired too, all others are the same as me yet she did that and complaining that she’s sleepy.She even sleep there even though all other of us still want to go and wander around.She slow us down.......really........And....I’m not the only one feel that way of course,I bet the others are also felt pissed with her.And after that,other thing that pissed me even more happen....right after that....

 Well,it begin when I had to go somewhere for a while.I’m with another friend of mine.The others are with the A,accompanying her sleeping so the hell I care.....Well,it happen when we were about to meet up.I called my friend,N and she told me to stay at my place cause they were coming so I wait with my friend,D.We talk while wait.....somehow....they were so late so I called them back and they told me.....THEY TOLD ME THEY WERE AT A WAFFLE SHOP,BUYING SOME DAMN WAFFLES.Hello!!!!!!Misses!!!!!I and D also hungry yet we still wait for all of you.AT THE DAMN PROMISING PLACE!I was sooooooo pissed that I hung up and decided to leave them all at wherever they where.They could go having fun themselves,I so don’t care.Grabbing D,we go and seek some food...well,they could look for us for all I care......I don’t!not even once!They while eating near a fountain,they came......with waffles on their hands.Hello.....I could so damn understand that they hungry.Well,so are we...but could you girls please bear with it for a moment until we meet up and go seek for food together?PLEASE..........or that was to hard to understand,huh?really,couldn’t they be more selfish than that?Fortunately,D was here and she tried her best to calm me down and after a few hours or something.....I could forgive them and reconciled back......still I’m very hurt.Well,D was one of the reason I forgive them and another was because we were a group doing our assingment at that moment so I tried to be reasonable for a bit and......a bit more forgiving I guess.......

 Honestly,for those to happened......I just could only wish for those not to happened anymore and well.....I guess I kind of tried to not be in a group with them except for D for quite some time in the future.Hmmm,maybe......well at least not with A.Anyway......those are what happened last week.

 Now,I have another unsatisfied thing with a certain someone.She’s my senior yet she didn’t even act as one and actually she only pissed me off sometimes but still......it pissing me off.Well,honestly speaking.....both her and me are so not very close but we were roommates and it was coincident,totally.I don’t even want to,with her of course.I wouldn’t mind the other one but her....she’s a bit difficult.Well,you see.....I always feel like there is some kind of wall between us that keep us from understand each other.And she also seem to prefer my other roommate also.......hah.....not a big deal.....after all they did decide to share a room.....I’m just a little unexpected existence in their plan.Well,like I care.....I here first so......not my fault,okay.....Well,back to the topic,she....oh yes,another thing,my roommates also feel the same as me.....not the pissing off but the wall feeling,yes that one.Even though my senior much prefer her than me but she still feel it that way,a wall between them.I wonder if it because she our senior and older about 2 years more than us?well.....whatever......Oh,about her age,as I mention earlier,she’s older but yet act as if she’s the same age as us or younger.....so childish and sensitive.Anyway,I pissed with her when she act as if we were so close,or should I say way to close(no boundaries between us).When I or anybody buy food,yes food.....she will eat some with no shame at all.I wouldn’t mind if she ask but not when she took it without asking.That really pissing me off.I don’t know the others but that is what I’m feeling.Another thing that pissed me off was her suddenly changing mood.I have it myself and don’t mind at all when she having it but please consider TPO.Don’t go off by yourself especially at night and alone at an unknown place when those mood of yours struck.You,right now are very far away from your family,not to mention the fact that you have weak body.so please bear with it when you’re moody.You can get moody all you want when we’re already get back at the hostel,I soooooooooo don’t care.Really.......like to make people worry over herself and think only about herself.If anything happen to her outside the hostel or college,it was us,the one with her at that time that have to take the responsibilities.Yet....she couldn’t think of that at all.Not just that,she want others to understand her thought yet she doesn’t want to understand others.And she also so direct.......I don’t mind but at least please consider other people feelings.You’re not the only one who could get hurt.Those people might not show it but who knows what in their heart,right?.Why can’t you be like our roommates.She told me what she doesn’t like me did to her with consideration, of my feeling.Not even once I ever felt hurt when she told me that but you......I always feel hurt from your words.Even though it simple and seem not important yet it still as sharp as knife,slicing up my heart as you said those words.And obviously,I lost my mood after hearing those.For once,I want her to think before she speak.If you have anything you hate,just speak it out but with consideration,of course.And please,please,very,very please act as your age.I don’t mind your childish act but please as our senior in age,life and study, please be mature and guide us.Only act childish on the right time not all the time.Isn’t it weird when it was us,your junior who have to take care of you and you behaviour even though you’re the senior and supposed to be the one who take care of us.This is why we couldn't respect let alone thought of you as our senior even though you’re the senior.Whether you like it or not,want it or not,as our age add up so is our maturity,it supposed to be add up also.We were supposed to be more mature as we aged up.Yet,you’re not like that at all.Even though you told us you want to get married early still,seeing your attitude,I so can’t even imagine you as a mother let alone a wife.So sorry but that’s the truth.Anyway,I really,really hope she will realize and change.Not all but just matured a bit.That's all I wanted.

 Sorry,it was very long.I guess I just build it up inside to much.Anyway,now I feel a bit relieved and it seem like it's already late.I should get back to sleep.Till we meet again on the next My Depressing Story.If there is another.Sweet dream tonight and bye!!!!!!

A DEPRESSING STORY (PART 1)

This is just a story about me,about what I thought.I write this just for fun,to release all my problem in this single post.In fact,I would highly recommend all of you reader to not read this post cause' it will only waste your time.This is true story indeed but it was all just the problem I face and somehow I think I'm about to go insane,soon.
    How should I begin this.Well,this is no new problem to me,in fact I was drowned in it for the past a couple of years ago but somehow it burst out of me a few days ago.My first problem was my friends,I didn't know if it just me or what but somehow I feel so distance from them.We love anime,manga and stuff still I feel this huge distance.It occur to me when we were having conversation,somehow I feel left out and they only talk with each other only.I tried to join in but it always failed.What's more,every time the class ended,they will leave me behind and walk among themselves.It make me wonder what's so different about me that they will treat me that way.In fact,yesterday they leave me waiting for the bus alone and goes back to the apartment themselves along with (I don't know,maybe she is their new friend).I'm not jealous they been friends with her but don't cast me off like that.I feel like I was nothing to them,like they only want I there when they want me and ignored me when they have no need for me.It hurts,it really,really hurt.
    My other friends was the same,they want to keep in touch with me but it always me who make the first move,I called them first,I start chatting with them first,it always me who make the move but not them.Okey,I understand that they might not know how to greet me first but hey,a single hey,how do you do or hello will be enough to begin a conversation right?it's not that hard or else how did they make friends or what do they first say or text when them were having a conversation with others,hm?I absolutely cannot think of other way to begin a conversation other that that.
   It all the same with my housemate,I feel this huge distance between me and them.I tried to understand them cause' all of us have absolutely no similarities but yet,we were all girls so we can't be that different,right?I tried to get close by having conversation and it did go well except for there were this something that I feel off with all of us.It doesn't matter how much I tried getting close to them but it never worked.I couldn't even once understand them.But they sure get along very well among each other.Furthermore,I don't know if it just me or if she really feel that way about me but she seem to hate me.She even said it a couple of times but I always think of it as a joke even though those words make me uneasy.
   Somehow I begin to think that it was very difficult to understand other even if they share a whole bunch of similarities with me.Humans are a complex beings,right?I couldn't even understand those who are my friends and how on earth I think can I able to understand those who aren't my friends.Well,now I feel a little relieved after write this post although it still cannot brush away this loneliness and emptiness in my heart.I just wish I would find someone who really think of me as a real friend and not a substitute whenever they were lonely.Anyway,this is just the first part of my story(well, it more to what I thought,but now it make me think twice.This could also be my diary,right?oh,whatever as long as I could pour all of my heart into it and express my feeling as well as my problem into it.
   THE END OF PART ONE.....

SMILE PRECURE!

The kingdom of Märchenland, where various characters from fairy tales reside, is attacked by Pierrot, the evil emperor of the Bad End Kingdom, who seeks to direct the world towards its worst ending and steals the Cure Decors, which power the Queen of Märchenland, Royale. Using the last of her energy, Royale manages to seal Pierrot away. However, his minions, Joker and the Bad End Generals Wolfrun, Akaoni, Majorina, seek to revive Pierrot by harnessing the Bad Energy from the people of Earth. In order to protect Märchenland and regain her strength, Royale sends out the five Cure Decors to Earth and orders a fairy named Candy to search for five legendary warriors, the Pretty Cures, to obtain the items so they can put an end to Bad End Kingdom.

Arriving in the town of Nanairogaoka, Candy encounters Miyuki Hoshizora, a new transfer student, who soon gains the power to become Cure Happy. Joined by her new friends, Akane Hino, Yayoi Kise, Nao Midorikawa and Reika Aoki, who become Cure Sunny, Cure Peace, Cure March and Cure Beauty respectively, Miyuki and her friends form the Smile PreCure in order to recover the Cure Decors, save Märchenland and protect everyone's happiness. However, as the PreCures contend with the Akanbe the Bad End Generals employ, the Bad End Kingdom is reaching its penultimate goal of reviving Pierrot.

CHOUJIGEN GAME NEPTUNE

This is Gamindustri. Beings called the Goddesses rule the countries of this unreal world. The four Goddesses govern four states: Planeptune, Lastation, Lowee, and Leanbox. For many long years, these countries fought each other over the Shares, the source of the Goddess power.

However, fearful that the conflict would pointlessly erode their countries' strength, the Goddesses signed a Friendship Treaty forbidding them from taking Shares by force.

Under the treaty, the Goddesses and their younger sisters took a step forward to a new stage in their relations. It was the dawn of a new, dynamic era marked occasionally by shared laughter, disputes as well cooperation.

What does the future hold in store for Gamindustri?

FREE! IWATOBI SWIM CLUB

Free! revolves around members of a high school boy's swimming team. Four boys—Haruka, Makoto, Nagisa and Rin—all participated in a swimming tournament shortly before graduating elementary school and later parted ways. Years later, they reunite when Rin challenges Haruka to a race and wins. Not wanting to be defeated so easily, Haruka gathers Makoto and Nagisa and a new recruit named Rei to form the Iwatobi High School Swimming Club.