Hi,we meet again although I did kinda curious for why would anyone read this. The title might said story but actually it is more towards a ranting of mine. And apparently, after a year and more I haven't wrote anything about this series??, I've come back. YEAY!!! not.... If anyone who actually read this, they would know the reason I only write under this title is to rant and rant and rant about "things" that happened to me.I'm sure anyone have or had a time where they are not in the mood or under the weather. Not sure either those are the same things or not but back to the story. I'm sure you have one before right? right? or perhaps you're experiencing it right now? If so, it sucks...to you and people around you. Hopefully they understood and clear away from you. cause I'm sure I am, and I wish they were. Not sure which one.
Well, I see that you might have caught up right? YUP!! thousands of yup! I am or I had. Sorry if it the wrong use of grammar. I kind of forget and not forget it. In between, they said. Well, anyway, Yes, I am a bit of under the weather, not sure why just suddenly. At first it just a small one where I can still interact with people without feeling annoyed but I do kinda admit, when I'm like that, I always have internal thought about people around me, things around me, anything around me. And I became overly sensitive. I'm not that sensitive kind of person. I more like you do your thing, I do mine. And that when it began.
I have a friend, one that I could say my best friend. We sort of shared a lot of things together between us. Either gossip,story,what people said about us to us to each other ( More like people A told "beep about N" at me and I told my best friend about it.) Yeah, N is her name. We always do everything together you see. Whether going to college or hanging out. Always.
Enough about it. Back to the story, I kinda have a/some thought. Why does suddenly she seem close to Z? Where before we trading stories, now it was them. And they always seem so secretive about it. It makes me suspicious. I had to admit, I was jealous. because hey, aren't we best friend? sort of? unofficially? I know she has other friends but those are not here and so I don't thing much or none of them. But this is different. It felt like she(Z) stole her from me. It's not that I don't have other friends, I do but N is the most friendlier with me.
In addition, we live in a hostel provided by the college. Me and N in a same place and Z and 3 others are in another. But it really close between those two places so we always visit each other. It's not like I hate Z. No I'm not. I just, you knows...
Anyway, this that grates on my nerves are Z always calls for N for something or other. Not only on the phone but at hostel too...It's always "N!", "N!". URGHHH!!!! Can't for once you call for someone else? preferably those at your place? Not mine?
I realize it sound stupid but at the time? It bloody annoying and irritating. And they always like so buddy buddy at college. 'where you go, I go'. They seems like it. And too think it use to be us?ARGGGHHH!!!
So, it happened last week. N ask me if something wrong and I said nothing because hello??? are you blind or what? I'm not in the mood. So, shoo. Don't disturb me. And it was her fault too really. Well, not her alone actually,my other friends are too. A day before, we're supposed to go get something, and when I ask whether we should go down or not, they including her ignored, IGNORED me. Like I'm invincible. And when I fed up and decide d to not going, they go. They did ask me but I decline because I'm was angry at them...very very cause they said they want to get it tomorrow and suddenly BAM they're going like WHATTT???
Then, they had the gall to go to class without me. And I was honestly don't remember. I thought they just going out to eat or something but class? At least can't you message me told me about it or something? Especially, N. Before, you always did remind me but why? Why wouldn't you did then? I really don't understand.
And to sooth my aching heart, I goes home on the weekend. I had to admit I no longer sulking at them...YES!! I did. Sulking at them and act coldly. Or else I'm just not in the mood only that one day, not two...
When I came back, I thought everything will be normal but how naive am I? I was wrong. I don't mind about others cause I not to close to them but N? I was so so so sad and hurt. She didn't even greet me when I came back. I always did when she did. Or before when I came back. But that day? None. She did not said one word at me. Only when I open my mouth did she did. But then, silence...Like so so so awkward...I miss it. Our before...Now, I felt lonely... She might not cause everyyyoneee like her...Miss Popular but hey, what about me?
And she did not even tell me when she goes to college when before she does. Or wait for me when she did before. Or wake me up to go to college together when we did before. I can even count how many times we speak now. And she did not even tell me any important news that our lecturers may have passed. It was my other friend, A who did. At least she act normal...And F too(well, she was a bit awkward and only when I address her first). And Z and D, hmm...not really close with them but at least before when they came to college and get inside the studio, they would greet me along with others but now...NOW???they ignored me, like I didn't exist. Just A and even then it was a bit stiff on her part but hey, I don't mind....It was the others especially N....When I thought we were best friend...or at least on that category....
HAHHH.....I'm so tired and confuse and etc...Why?Just Why?
I'm sorry...I know that was a silly problem but it plague me.... and I felt so...so alone...so lonely...
Only my fanfic accompanies me.
I knows that I was an unsocial person but even I did crave some companion and conversation sometimes....
